Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn’t know there was a reunion, I wasn’t invited.

Today, I went out to my car to run some errands. It wouldn’t start. I called AAA, only to find out my battery wasn’t dead, it was stolen.

Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had 2 cavities. He replied, “No you didn’t. I just looked at your x-rays.” Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings.

Dan said “my son is so smart he has to go to summer school for the 4th time!”

original message:

Category: Computers/Electronics

Item : Tungsten E2 Palm Pilot

“I see the Tungsten E2 but no Palm Pilot. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palm_Pilot Just kidding, the pilot is about 12 years old.”

Dan’s Response:

“This is the one I have. I don’t understand your message. Have a nice day tho!”

Dan says  ” he did SCAN this one”

Dan says, “My pockets are now full of fish.”

Police Officer: I Pulled you over for passing a schoolbus while it was loading kids.

Dan: If everyone followed God’s plan there would be no need for you.

Police Officer: Sir, I comletely agree. Here is your ticket.

Dan: thank you have a good day

Dan: My iPod was stolen, can you help me?

Police Officer:  sure where was it located?

Dan: Well you see I left it under my jacket over here on this chair … there was no way for them to know it was there.

Dan says: You need to give me the password, or I’m just going to change it.