Proverbs of Dan

phone calls…

Biebs — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 21:27:51 +0000

Email…

Me: “how do you check your email, what program are you using”

Them: “i click this little stamp and my email magically appears on my screen”

Speedtest….

Me: “go to www.speakeasy.net/speedtest”

Them: “so i need to go to speedtest.com?”

not invited …

b4d455 — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:00:31 +0000

Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn’t know there was a reunion, I wasn’t invited.

stolen battery

b4d455 — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 14:00:14 +0000

Today, I went out to my car to run some errands. It wouldn’t start. I called AAA, only to find out my battery wasn’t dead, it was stolen.

ripped off

b4d455 — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 23:27:28 +0000

Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had 2 cavities. He replied, “No you didn’t. I just looked at your x-rays.” Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings.

dan is proud

b4d455 — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:41:46 +0000

Dan said “my son is so smart he has to go to summer school for the 4th time!”

Dan responds to his classified listing..

b4d455 — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 20:45:57 +0000

original message:

Category: Computers/Electronics

Item : Tungsten E2 Palm Pilot

“I see the Tungsten E2 but no Palm Pilot. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palm_Pilot Just kidding, the pilot is about 12 years old.”

Dan’s Response:

“This is the one I have. I don’t understand your message. Have a nice day tho!”

this time he did

b4d455 — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 06:31:08 +0000

Dan says ” he did SCAN this one”

Dan says

Matt — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 03:49:41 +0000

Dan says, “My pockets are now full of fish.”

Dan got pulled over..

b4d455 — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 03:36:35 +0000

Police Officer: I Pulled you over for passing a schoolbus while it was loading kids.

Dan: If everyone followed God’s plan there would be no need for you.

Police Officer: Sir, I comletely agree. Here is your ticket.

Dan: thank you have a good day

According to Dan his iPod was stolen,

b4d455 — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 19:54:06 +0000

Dan: My iPod was stolen, can you help me?

Police Officer: sure where was it located?

Dan: Well you see I left it under my jacket over here on this chair … there was no way for them to know it was there.