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Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn’t know there was a reunion, I wasn’t invited.

Today, I went out to my car to run some errands. It wouldn’t start. I called AAA, only to find out my battery wasn’t dead, it was stolen.

original message:

Category: Computers/Electronics

Item : Tungsten E2 Palm Pilot

“I see the Tungsten E2 but no Palm Pilot. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palm_Pilot Just kidding, the pilot is about 12 years old.”

Dan’s Response:

“This is the one I have. I don’t understand your message. Have a nice day tho!”

Police Officer: I Pulled you over for passing a schoolbus while it was loading kids.

Dan: If everyone followed God’s plan there would be no need for you.

Police Officer: Sir, I comletely agree. Here is your ticket.

Dan: thank you have a good day

Dan: My iPod was stolen, can you help me?

Police Officer:  sure where was it located?

Dan: Well you see I left it under my jacket over here on this chair … there was no way for them to know it was there.

“They post it on an FTP and AIM goes and sucks it.”

Dan has now brought everyone “up to speed” on the Christmas station.

He just got done complaining about how he’s going to be the “only one working on Thanksgiving”

He just printed off 33 pages of crap people need to fix And made duplicate copies for everybody. Then told everybody to write down what they need to change and make copies for everybody else.

Dan can talk with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth like it’s not even there. Pretty amazing.